Memories at this stage are fuzzy and hard to decipher. I recall the firs few years of school being a struggle, with not understanding the language or the culture. I was still trying to find my place in the world and in all that chaos I was trying to manage school, trying to make friends, and learning the American way, plus the language.
At school, I was spending a lot of time at the principal’s office… it was determined I had a biting problem!! My classmates would tease me and I would retaliate with a small bite. I am not sure how I developed the habit, but boy did it get me into trouble. I also spent most of the day in learning English (ESL)… I found this so boring. To this day, the English language is hard for me with mispronouncing words and my writing is awful at times.
During this time life at home was not so bad. My guardians had friends they knew from back in Mexico and we would visit them often. This was great, because they had kids and grand kids and there was a boy there whom they where taking care of who like me did not belong. Both our families determined we would lead a better life if we both were living in the US, a better future. Isn’t it strange how we form bonds with other individuals going through the same hard times or worse. My female guardian was also a member of their church and we were pretty active. These two situations led to different outcomes a few years later, they were both due to the end of the friendship. If I can recall, this was when life got a little harder for me, not that life wasn’t hard already.
After my guardians and their friends stopped speaking, life became dull. There was no more get together and church was no longer a thing. To this day I am not sure what caused the break-up. All I know is, this was detrimental to my mental health. The first situation was due to my bed wetting, it became a huge problem and every morning I was being yelled at and at times spanked because of it. I did not understand why I had the problem and why I slept right through it. The second was those ex-friends calling and telling me awful things. Please remember this was before caller ID existed, you had to pick up the phone to know who was calling. The things said to me during those calls was just mean, some of the things being said where that they were going to call the ‘migra” for those of you who don’t know the term. This is the slang often used for immigration services. Other phone calls were regarding my mother. This one needs more of an explanation, so here it is. My guardians had a daughter who was married and had children. This woman who called me had gotten it in her head that I was the daughter whom she left behind to get married. However, her middle daughter was two weeks older than me. Anyhow, the calls would consist of the voice telling me my mother did not love me and had given me up to marry well. I never understood why someone would want to cause pain to a child, but apparently this was not an issue for this person who called me constantly. This went on for several months, until the number was finally changed.
My journey between two countries 